Hello everybody! Sorry about the sporadic performance lately on posting…again we have had a two-week lapse without any updates. This is no way to run a railroad!
Of course, the instinctive reaction is to throw my hands up and wail, “There’s just not enough time!” But we all know by now, don’t we, that such statements are by definition pointless: none of us has any more or less time than anyone else. The clock is the ultimate disinterested party: 24 hours, 1440 minutes, 86,400 seconds… any way you slice it up, it always – and only – adds up to one day. Much has been written about time management, but what is really needed (and our sole option) is self management.
This is not a great epiphany for me; I have a long history of over-committing and under-performing, because I love being The Hero, the one who always comes through, always has the answer, always saves the day. This tendency has caused me no end of trouble over the years, and I am only recently, with the patient, loving (and, um… aggressive, when she has to be) support of The Wife, learning the simple, elegant beauty of the word, “No,” but the hardest part is saying it to myself. I want to believe I can achieve everything, meet every expectation, never disappoint anyone. I know this is impossible (unless I jump to the other extreme, and become so untrustworthy that no one expects anything from me, but that doesn’t seem attractive at all), but I forget, y’know? I get excited about something, set a bunch of crazy expectations for myself, fall short, throw myself off the cliff of self-revulsion, and then pull myself back together and start over again in a new place, with a new interest. I have done it repeatedly, BUT NOT THIS TIME.
Running has taught me a great deal about self-discipline and commitment, things that I would have told you I already knew about. I was wrong, though…what I knew was how to apply these ideas like lasers, to cut to the heart of a problem and solve it, when they should actually be used at floodlights, to see clearly what is around us and which way we should go. I intend to move forward in this way, and I am sure the results will be excellent. Hopefully, if you decide to stick with me as I pace these training miles, we can learn and grow together. I’m ready to run, how about you?
(This is not the post I set out to write, but I think it was the one I needed to write. Check back tomorrow for a marathon training update, and my first shoe review!)